It’s Ok to Be Mad About This and Here is Where to Start if You Want to Fix It.

I’m furious about this. I was mad when I first discovered it right around the time my second son was born in 2013. I’m still mad about it today and I’m sure that you are mad about it too. And if you are not mad yet maybe it is because you have not been exposed to this idea. But, if you have any shred of valuing your autonomy, once you open the box, then you will be mad too.

A lot of people will shy away from talking about it and here’s the the thing - that’s ok too because it’s likely not for the faint of heart or those who are content with the status quo. For example if you are totally content with working your job, at your desk, commuting to an office, or spending 50% or more of your life doing that then just exit now. No judgement here.

If you are wondering what I’m talking about, it’s the discovery that I had been aiming my financial goals and expectations SO LOW for WAY TOO LONG because that’s what I was taught to do. And once I stumbled on the processes that I’ll share with you in my content, it became crystal clear how so many of the ideas that I was taught growing up and as a young adult just kept me aiming for small financial goals well into my adult years.

That made me mad because it meant that not only had I been traveling down a path that felt like it was going nowhere for me financially except towards more toil and struggle. It also meant that I had a ton of work to do to go back, restock, change my course of action, and essentially start again.

It will take a while to unpack all that I have to share, but it comes down to being misguided in a few key areas that essentially encouraged giving up personal power, being distracted, learning to care about opinions (instead of finding good advice), and not understanding value.

The reason that I’m still mad about it, is because these days, it’s more important than ever to have those key areas dialed in, yet it has also become more challenging than ever to get and keep my own goals in focus.

And what makes it so challenging is that while there are no shortages of tools to improve our circumstance, and just as many distractions to pull us away - finding others who are willing to make the journey and respect their commitments seems to be about as rare as seeing a perfectly preserved ice sculpture in the desert.

So before I go on a rant, or come across like I am blaming others for my own shortcomings, I think that a good place to start is by clearing our headspace and leveling out to make an assessment by asking questions like:

Do I, and the people I surround myself with…

  • Fulfill on promises or commitments?
  • Optimize and manage energy by getting enough sleep, eating right, exercising, and minimizing or eliminating sugar, caffeine, alcohol, or other drugs?
  • Use willpower on things that matter like exercise, adventure, or achieving meaningful goals; and not waste it on cheap activities like gossip, video games, social media, excessive meetings, or commuting?
  • Have clarity? For example, about what we are going to accomplish, when, and why it matters.
  • Focused? And eliminating or reducing the distractions that take away from our time and attention or complicates decisions and outcomes?

If the answer is NO to any of those questions then that is likely a good area to start working on because without energy, willpower, clarity, focus, or commitments… it’s going to be very difficult to not only identify and get excited about bigger financial goals but it will also be just as difficult (if not more) to able to build or maintain the habits required to reach them.

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Nathan Bray

Founder / UX / Design